Forbidden Acts
by TransformingTurtle
Summary: He knew it wasn't right for him to feel this way. He knew he shouldn't be risking his entire career for one person. He knew he had been trained better than this. And he knew every one of the consequences, yet he couldn't stop now.. A Royai one-shot of what I wished their relationship would have been like in the series. Enjoy!


Guys. This. Someone mark this down as the fastest I've ever put out anything! When I posted the last one-shot, this was merely an idea, and now here it is! I'm dubbing this my most accomplished work ever. Why, you ask? Because I actually managed to write an FMA story without any angst or parental fluff! It's quite lovey dovey! If this isn't really your style, don't feel bad. It's totally not mine either. But I encourage you to read it anyway because I'm rather happy with how it turned out!

So the timeline isn't completely accurate, as Roy doesn't find out who killed Maes until the end, but I guess it would be set sometime after his death.

A super quick thanks to all the amazing people who reviewed True Torment Within! I wish I could respond to guests, but just know I love hearing from you :)

Disclaimer: this should be obvious since there was definitely not enough Royai in the series.

* * *

We're all plagued by something.

Heartbreak, illness, tragedy, war.

Sometimes it's not the circumstance that need to change, but rather, the right person to come along and show us a new perspective.

* * *

"You're late." Roy said, opening the door to his home for his first lieutenant to come in.

"Apologies, sir." She greeted warmly and took her place in the usual spot where she waited for Roy to finish getting ready.

"Staying out too late, lieutenant?" He mused as he gathered a few remaining items off the counter.

"Just some traffic I got caught up in on my way over, sir."

"Well they should know better than to keep me waiting." He walked back over to her, signaling he was ready.

"Forgive me." Riza began as they made their way outside. "But aren't you always late?"

"Yes, but that's why I have you. If you start being late, I'll be ruined!" His comment dripped with sarcasm as he locked up the house and walked beside her to the car.

"It won't happen again." She opened his door and held out a coffee for him.

"I suppose I can forgive you just this once." He retrieved the cup, but paused when his hand overlapped hers. "On one condition though."

"What's that?" She questioned with a rather unamused look on her face.

"You have to give me a kiss."

She shoved her hand toward him so he would take the cup. "I think I'd rather take the punishment, sir."

"So heartless." He placed his hand over his heart in a joking manner as he got in the back seat of the car.

Riza took her place as the driver and began making her way to headquarters.

"Do you ever take anything seriously?"

Roy thought for a moment as he sipped his coffee.

"Sometimes it's fun to pretend, you know? Pretend that I'm just a normal person married to the woman he loves, instead of a murderer that gets to walk around like a war hero."

"Pretending is for children." She stated a little coldly.

"Yeah, well, not when you have as many nightmares as I do." He stared out the window, admiring his beautiful city and wishing he felt as good as it looked.

Neither of them spoke more on the matter. A short ten minutes later, Riza pulled into headquarters and they both walked quietly to his office, as most everyday. She always walked just one or two steps behind. Whether it was out of respect or so he wouldn't be tempted to stare at her, he didn't know. But he enjoyed the fact that she was there.

 _Someday._ He thought.

* * *

It was another boring day of paperwork and phone calls. Roy couldn't wait for the day to be over, but time was never on his side. As evening came around, mostly everyone had left. He was alone in his office dozing off on top of a large stack of paperwork he was supposed to be filling out. A soft knock came at his door as Riza let herself in.

"Ah, Lieutenant, you're still here I see." He was sitting behind his desk, pretending that he wasn't just asleep.

"And I see you're still procrastinating."

"I like to think of it as waiting until the last minute."

She rolled her eyes and sat down on his couch.

"Care for a drink?" He suggested

"This is hardly the time, Colonel. Besides. I have some business to attend to this evening."

"Psh. What could be more important than keeping your favorite superior company?"

"I can think of many things." She got up and made her leave. Stopping in the doorway, she gave him her infamous stern look.

"I suggest you get to work or you will be here all night. I hardly think you want that." And with that she walked out.

He picked up his pen and stared at the documents before him. _Yeah right._ He thought. He set the pen back down. _If she's leaving early then so am I!_ He waited around for about ten minutes, then grabbed his coat and took off. He decided to walk home, since the weather was nice and it made him feel less lonely surrounded by all the city noise. About twenty minutes or so later, he walked up his front steps and stared at the door. He imagined opening it and a lovely woman waiting for him inside with the table already set. Maybe even a couple of kids running around screaming "daddy" as he walked in. It was a nice thought, but Hawkeye was right. Pretending was for children, so he walked into the dark home and prepared his own dinner. As he slipped into bed for the night, he prayed the nightmares would stay away just this once.

 _At least it won't be much longer. He thought._

It was well into the night when someone opened his door. The figure crept quietly across the room to where Roy was. Pulling a gun out of their pocket, they eyed it a moment before lying it down on the table next to them. Instead, the figure began to run her slender fingers through Roy's hair. The man groaned softly upon being woken up.

"You're late." He grumbled.

Riza merely smiled and crawled in bed next to him, wrapping her body around his.

"How many have you had?"

"Too many."

It all began a few months back when he started having nightmares again. They all had a hard time adjusting after the war, but Roy had seemed to be the most affected by it. He couldn't understand why people would call him a hero when he did nothing but destroy innocent lives. Then the nightmares came, plaguing him day after day. For a while he thought ending his life was the only option. Eventually, his best friend Maes forced him to seek help. After it was all said and done, he thought he had finally come to a place where he could accept what happened and move on. He had new goals in life and he had people to protect now, including a certain hot tempered Alchemist that consistently got himself in trouble.

But then tragedy struck again. His best friend was murdered by a homonculous who supposedly started the whole war in the first place. Who forced him to become a murderer and be haunted by it for the rest of his life. And the thought of his best friend being gone brought every one of those horrible memories back. They did this to him.

Hawkeye was the first to notice. He was either coming into work drunk, or crying at his desk when he wasn't. He wasn't sleeping, and he wasn't any better than the day he came back from the war. Thoughts of suicide became a temptation once again. Then, one night, she came to him. She ran her fingers through his hair and whispered softly in his ear until he fell asleep, and even then she didn't leave. She was all business at first, but over the course of a few months, they had become as close as they'd ever been. She had no reservations about tangling her legs in his and gently caressing his chest. She would even kiss the back of his neck when she thought he was sleeping. Oh how he desired her each and every time, but he loved her too much for that. Having her in his life was enough for now, and he appreciated every bit of the sacrifice she made to see him every night. As long as the nightmares stayed away, he could focus on building a world where they could one day finally be together.

"Let me guess, you didn't actually do any work after I left." She mused while running her fingers down his arm.

"No." he took her hand and wrapped his finger in it. "You didn't have any business to take care of, did you?"

"No."

He smiled and snuggled just a bit closer to her before drifting off into peaceful slumber.

She was always gone when he woke up. Where she went, or how she always seemed perfectly put together when she rang his doorbell the next morning was beyond him. He only knew that he could spend the rest of his life making it up to her, and it still wouldn't be enough.

* * *

The next morning she arrived at her usual time with a hot cup of coffee, just the way he liked it. They loaded up and she began the drive to headquarters.

"Did you sleep well?" She asked nonchalantly.

"Better, thanks to—"

"Sir." She interrupted quickly, holding to the agreement they made a while back to never speak about it outside of his bedroom.

"Riza. Can we just talk about it?"

"You know the answer to that." She peeked in the mirror just in time to see him cross his arms in agitation.

"Come on, this doesn't bother you at all?" He whined from the back seat.

"The are regulations."

He slammed one hand onto the seat. "I know the rules! I just don't know how much longer I can keep hiding this."

"Then maybe it would be best if we—"

"Don't say it. Please." He looked into her brown eyes with his own pleading ones. "I really would be useless then."

"You are getting better, sir."

He looked away and leaned back further into the seat. The morning after was always the hardest. He had to go throughout his day like nothing was going on between them. He had to pretend she wasn't anything but another member of his team. And when he was having the hardest of moments throughout the day, he couldn't run to her for comfort. The only time he didn't have to fake it was at night when she visited him, and even then they never did anything.

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair in aggravation.

"You're the best thing to ever happen to me. Why is it wrong that I love you?"

This was usually the part where she would reprimand him for letting his feelings control him, but instead she looked away and smiled. Smiled because he had never said the word "love" out loud before. Even if it was wrong. Even if she couldn't turn around right then and kiss him, it still made her happy to hear.

Realizing his own actions, Roy also looked away, his cheeks flushed. No one made him lose his character like she did. Unfortunately, these feelings only made it worse when they pulled into headquarters and he had to walk in with her like he hadn't just admitted he loved her.

"Someday." They got out of the car and walked together to start new day.

* * *

Headquarters was alive with excitement that morning as everyone buzzed about in unusually good moods. It was the weekend of their annual military ball. Or more importantly, it was the one event of the year where the men could ask any woman he wanted, including those in his own rank. It was sort of a free pass on the whole fraternize laws that would normally keep them apart. An event like this should normally be most exciting for Roy, except they had already been through this multiple times before.

"I suppose you wouldn't be willing to change your mind about this weekend, would you?" Roy was filling out paperwork, thanks to his trusty lieutenant sitting next to him to make sure it got done.

"You know why it has to be this way. It would raise too many questions for us."

"I figured as much."

"I would love nothing more, but there are so many officers who have it out for you already. My number one priority is to help you reach the top. We have to be careful."

Just then havoc throws open the door to his office. "Hey boss!" He sees Roy leaned back in his chair with his lieutenant standing much closer than usual. "Oh, am I interrupting something?" He smirked at the two love birds.

"Of course not." Roy stated calmly. "Come in and join us."

"Ah, you must have already asked her then."

"Asked what?" Riza questioned curiously.

"Asked you to be his date of course!"

"Oh. That." He shared a quick glance with her. "Actually I asked someone else." He said confidently. "She's a free woman if you want to take her."

"What?!" He almost dropped the unlit cigarette in his mouth. "No way, Roy. Everyone knows she's your woman. You'd kill me."

"The colonel and I share a business relationship. Nothing more." Riza added, confidently.

"Man." Havoc scratched his head, completely puzzled. "You sure do get around boss."

The rest of the week went by pretty uneventful, aside from receiving a surprise visit from his youngest subordinate. Apparently they were forcing the teen to attend the ball and he needed some wardrobe advice. It was a rather awkward conversation for the both of them, seeing as the bright young alchemist hated asking his help for anything. He would have almost been annoyed except for the fact that the boy had no parents to help with this kind of thing. In the end, he was happy Ed came to him. It made him feel like he was at least doing something right.

* * *

The evening of the ball had finally arrived. Roy wore a black tuxedo with a matching bow tie. On his arm, he escorted a beautiful brunette by the name of Elizabeth. She was one of Madam Christmas' employees at the pub he frequently visited. The two of them were practically family, so if he had to take someone else, he didn't mind it being her. They arrive fairly early, considering Roy's track record.

"Thanks again for coming with me." He said as they walked in.

"Of course." She smiled. "I don't know why you didn't just take that pretty blond friend of yours, but I'm more than happy to call you mine for a night."

He looked around casually, trying not to make it obvious.

 _Where is she?_

Havoc was the first to greet him as they introduced their dates to one another. He was giddy as usual, rambling on about how wonderful his date was. That guy fell in love faster than he could shoot. They eventually left to get a drink, giving Roy only a small window of opportunity to look around before Breda came waltzing up with his own "gorgeous date." As each of his men came by to say hello, he couldn't help but smile. Smile because he really did enjoy seeing them happy. He only faltered slightly when Major Armstrong came around with his entourage of dramatics.

They walked around for a while, talking with different officials. For the most part it was enjoyable. It was only when he realized this was the first military event he had gone to without Hughes that he had to sit down a moment and take a breather. He always made these kinds of parties more exciting. Blabbing about his wonderful family, hooking him up with all sorts of higher ups. He had really meant what he said about pushing him to the top. Taking another sip of his champagne, he had to mentally calm himself down before his memories ruined the whole night. This is when he needed his lieutenant the most. Even when they're weren't alone, he could still tell her what was bothering him and she would find some way to make it better. He needed her right now.

And as if someone had heard his prayers, he looked up just in time to see the most beautiful woman enter the building. Her blond hair was down, exactly how he loved it, and she wore a beautiful light pink gown. It was strapless and flowed all the way to the ground, with just a peek of the silver sparkly shoes she wore underneath.

And when he finally caught her eyes, he felt like he had fallen in love all over again. He attempted to stand, practically knocking his wine glass over in the process.

She was flawless.

But he already knew that.

He began to walk towards her, nearly forgetting his own date in the process. Riza chose not to go with anyone. It didn't fit with who she was, and she felt it would give away more than help. He was perfectly happy with the arrangement himself. He was pretty sure he would want to kill whoever got to escort her around all evening.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye." He greeted, once they had found each other.

"Colonel." She responded in kind.

"You remember Elizabeth, don't you?"

"Yes. A pleasure to see you again."

"Likewise." The girl nodded sweetly.

He opened his mouth again, but was unable to form the words that often flowed so freely from his lips. It was long enough that Riza noticed, stepping in as she usually does.

"Well, I should let you get back to your date, sir."

And with that, she strode away gracefully, while he pretended not to care.

As they walked around a bit more, greeting all sorts of different officials, Roy couldn't help but feel like someone was missing. Someone who was supposed to be here. A certain young alchemist maybe? He concluded it must have not been anyone important.

His thoughts were then interrupted by the nefarious General Cobb. He had always had it out for Roy since day one.

"Ah, Colonel Mustang." He greeted unenthusiastically. "Where is that pretty little blond who follows you around everywhere?"

If only he could punch this guy right now, but that would be reckless and the lieutenant would definitely kill him. So instead, he laughed and played it off with a joke.

"I gave her the night off so the lovely Miss Elizabeth could accompany me this evening." He placed a hand on the woman's back and smiled.

"I see." He said with much more interest this time. "Then you won't mind me asking her to dance."

The man smirked and walked away while Roy steamed.

"Don't let him get to you." The brunette said.

Roy knew she was right, but it didn't make him feel any better. "I know I haven't been very fun tonight, but do you mind if I run to my office?"

She giggled excitedly. "Are you kidding? I'm at a military function where everyone is serving me, instead of being behind a bar serving a bunch of drunk guys. This is the best!"

"You're the best." He squeezed her hand gently and made his way to other side of the building where he could finally sit in peace.

* * *

After finding his office, he strode over to his desk and pulled out his favorite bottle of Scotch. He needed something a little bit stronger than champagne tonight. As he enjoyed the solitude, it wasn't long before he heard a soft knock at the door.

"Come in."

Much to his surprise, it was the only person he really cared to see.

"Hello colonel."

"Lieutenant!" He nearly choked on his drink. "What are you doing here?"

"You've seemed upset all night. What's going on with you?"

"Just brings back so many memories I guess. What I wouldn't give to go back to those days where Hughes would have forced me to go with you to these kinds of events. And of course I would turn him down until he threatened to talk about his family all night. In the end, I would have asked and you would have said yes, neither of us realizing how lucky we were back then."

"Those were easier days, I'll admit. But not necessarily better." She walked over to his couch and sat down.

"I'm sorry. I know I should have better self control than this. I don't know what's wrong with me. Am I going crazy?"

"No silly." She laughed. "You're just in love."

"Yeah. In love with a woman I can't have." He put away the bottle and walked over to her.

"You have me now."

"It's not like I can act on it." He sunk into the couch.

"Fine." She started slowly. "Tonight, you can."

"What?" Did he just hear her right?

"I'll give you one request. Anything you want."

He folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Anything?"

"Yes."

"Lieutenant, you do realize what a dangerous offer that is, right? Given that I'm a man and you're woman, who are desperately in love."

"If that's what you really want, you can have it."

She began to unzip her dress, but Roy took her hand to stop her.

"Wait, I didn't say that."

She eyed him curiously as he cupped her face with one hand. "There is only one thing I want."

Pulling her close with the other, he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. She closed her eyes and returned the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. The embrace felt like an eternity. A perfect ending where they would live happily ever after. When it was finally over, he touched his forehead to hers, caressing her cheek.

"All these years for a single kiss…" She whispered.

He laughed softly at her bewilderment. "I've waited my whole life to kiss the most beautiful woman in the world. I'd wait 100 years to have just one more."

She lifted her head and smiled as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She had realized all over again just why she fell in love with this man. Of all the times he would say how lucky he was to have found her, she may have been the lucky one after all.

Roy wiped the tear away and hugged her tightly.

"I love you, Riza. Rules and regulations will never change that. I'll wait as long as it takes for them to overturn this stupid rule, or until I'm high enough in the ranks that it doesn't apply anymore. Either way, I'm not going anywhere."

"Then neither will I." She buried her face in his neck.

"I suppose we should head back before too many people notice." He whispered softly.

"Well, we can't go together."

He looked around a moment. "Guess I'm going out the window then."

"Probably a good idea, sir."

He opened the window and climbed out, turning back once more. "Enjoy the rest of your party, but not too much." He saluted with a wink.

"I love you, Roy Mustang." She saluted back with a smile.

 _Someday_. He smiled to himself.

* * *

A few minutes later, Roy stumbled over the balcony railing, almost falling on his face in the process. He looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Fortunately, only a few people were standing outside. Mostly couples who were too busy staring at each other's faces to notice him. Breathing a sigh of relief, he straightened his tie and got back into character for the party.

"Well if it isn't Colonel Mustang. Figured you'd be partying it up with your favorite lieutenant."

Startled, he turned around to see Edward Elric, his youngest subordinate, eyeing him suspiciously. "Oh, Fullmetal." _That's who I was missing! I thought the party seemed a little too quiet..._ "Think I already had too much to drink, so I decided to get some fresh air. What are you doing out here?"

"Are you kidding?" He scoffed. "I don't want to be anywhere those people. This whole thing is stupid."

"I see."

"They wouldn't even let Al come...I really am on my own tonight."

"Well if it's any consolation, you look good kid." He smiled, intrigued at the sight of the most hot-tempered Alchemist he knew wearing a suit and tie.

"Better than you at least. Your clothes are filthy."

"They are?" He looked down at his pants. _Crap!_

"Where have you been, really?" Ed frowned and crossed him arms. Then, as if something had hit him, his eyes grew huge. "You were with Hawkeye, weren't you!" He whispered extremely loud, defeating the whole purpose of a whisper.

"Look, Ed, I…." he mentally kicked himself. Of all the people to figure it out, it just had to be the fullmetal runt who hated him the most. How was he going to talk the kid or of telling? Money? Information? Who was he kidding, Ed could never be bribed.

And as if he wasn't already in a jam, General Cobb came out just then and approached him again.

"Ah, there you are Colonel. I've been looking for you. I noticed your lieutenant stepped out before I could get my dance. Then you seemed to disappear too. Why is that?"

Roy's face may have been blank, but inside his heart was pounding and his hands were sweaty. He prayed the man wouldn't look down to see the dirt stains on his pants. Excuses were rushing through his mind, but he couldn't seem to find one that fit. Until Ed stepped in front of him and got in the man's face himself.

"Obviously he was talking to me. But please, by all means, take him away. I have to listen to his lectures enough during the week. The least I could have is one night."

"I see." the man said, clearing his threat. "Well perhaps you should take it easy on your subordinate just this once."

"Perhaps." Roy commented, finally noticing Riza walking in with Elizabeth. "My apologies, I believe my date has been keeping the lieutenant occupied." He nodded to where they had sat down together.

"So it seems. I must have overlooked her."

"I'm sure she'd be more than happy to have a dance with you. Just make sure you leave the lovely Elizabeth for myself."

"Of course." He walked away.

Roy breathed a silent sigh of relief as Ed turned around and put something in his hand.

"Here. You might want to wipe that dirt off before you go back inside."

He glanced at the napkin, skeptical.

"Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. It's a stupid rule anyway. You should get to be with the person you love."

He smirked. "I'll remember that next time you tell me that mechanic of yours is just a friend."

"T-That's different!"

"Sure."

"Whatever!" The boy crossed his arms and looked away with red cheeks.

Roy walked a little closer and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Seriously Ed, thank you."

"Forget about it." The blond brushed it off. "Besides, watching you sweat back there made this whole party worth it. See ya around, Colonel."

The older alchemist couldn't help but cringe a little. The boy was definitely going to hold that one over his head for a long time. In the end, he decided he would just be thankful. He put a smile on his face- a real one this time- and waked back inside to join his date. By the end of the evening, Roy could honestly say he had a good time, except for him, the best was still yet to come.

* * *

As Riza crawled under the covers next to him late that evening, he didn't want another kiss, or to take advantage of what she had been willing to give up. He merely wanted her next to him for the rest of life. And he believed with all his heart that someday they would actually get to be together.

As they lay facing one another, he held her hand in his and stroked her blond hair.

"Riza..." he said softly, enjoying the sound of her name.

"Yes?"

"Will you marry me?"

She smiled sweetly and moved closer so he could hold her, tucking her head under his chin.

"Someday."

* * *

So did anyone get the Elizabeth reference? I thought it would be funny to slip that in there :) Also General Cobb is made up because I couldn't think of someone else that fit. And yeah, it was totally weird only giving Ed a tiny part in this fic, but I definietly had a lot of fun writing that scene!

Since this was a bit different from my usual parental fluff, you should definitely let me know what you thought :)

Hopefully the next post will actually be one of the stories I told you i'd be working on, but who knows!


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